Updated through Week 4

Roto
Standings

A fantasy of a fantasy Updated weekly Means absolutely nothing

Heads up: the Issaquah Swingers is an H2H categories league. This page is purely hypothetical. It ranks every team as if we played rotisserie instead, using the actual weekly stats from your Yahoo matchups. Nobody wins a prize based on this. It is for bragging rights, screenshots, and retroactively bitching about the schedule.
Keanu Reeves
Hypothetical #1 · 77.5 pts
4
Weeks counted
The Ragans Administration
Biggest riser (+2)
Rain City Bombers
Hypothetical last · 27.0 pts

Standard 10-category rotisserie scoring. Each category is ranked 1 to 10 across the league: best in category gets 10 points, worst gets 1, ties share the average of their tied positions. ERA and WHIP are inverted (lower is better). Counting stats (R, HR, RBI, SB, K, QS, SV) are summed across every completed week. Rate stats (OBP, ERA, WHIP) use the unweighted average of each team's weekly rate values. Max possible season score: 100.

# Team Total Δ R HR RBI SB OBP K QS SV ERA WHIP
1 Keanu Reeves 77.5 —
134
9
37
8.5
127
9.5
16
3.5
.345
7
265
10
17
8
6
3
3.26
10
1.14
9
2 The Buckner Boots 67.5 —
120
3.5
41
10
127
9.5
14
1
.348
9
244
7
23
10
5
1.5
3.31
8
1.22
8
3 One Ball Two Strikes 65.5 ↑1
135
10
37
8.5
116
7
25
9
.334
4
207
2
16
6
13
9
3.49
5
1.25
5
4 Nick-fil-A 62.5 ↑1
120
3.5
31
6
97
1.5
21
6.5
.343
6
228
4
17
8
17
10
3.38
7
1.14
10
5 The Ragans Administration 61 ↑2
127
7
30
4.5
108
6
21
6.5
.346
8
226
3
17
8
11
7
3.62
4
1.23
7
6 Busch Latte 58.5 ↓3
129
8
27
3
101
4
21
6.5
.330
2.5
252
9
12
3.5
11
7
3.30
9
1.23
6
7 Allahu Alvarez 58 ↓1
122
5.5
35
7
117
8
21
6.5
.359
10
239
6
13
5
11
7
5.21
1
1.36
2
8 Good Vibes Only 36.5 —
122
5.5
30
4.5
103
5
15
2
.339
5
233
5
9
1.5
8
5
4.96
2
1.42
1
9 Ete Crow 36 —
112
1.5
26
2
97
1.5
27
10
.324
1
246
8
12
3.5
5
1.5
4.78
3
1.28
4
10 Rain City Bombers 27 —
112
1.5
17
1
98
3
16
3.5
.330
2.5
200
1
9
1.5
7
4
3.46
6
1.30
3

📝 What the Roto League Would Say About Each Team

Short takes on how roto scoring flatters or punishes each roster compared to how they look in H2H. None of this counts. All of it is fun.

#1 Keanu Reeves 77.5 pts
First place in pretend roto, first place in actual H2H. 10 points in K, 10 in ERA, 9.5 in RBI, 9 in WHIP. Duke Joe scores in the top three of seven out of ten categories. The only weakness is SV (3.0 points) and that is a bullpen depth issue, not a real one. None of this matters because you play H2H. He is still beating you.
#2 The Buckner Boots 67.5 pts
Perfect 10 in HR (41) and QS (23), both best in the league by a margin. 10s and 9s across four of the pitching cats. The leaks are SB (14, worst 1.0 points) and SV (5, 1.5 points). If roto were the rules Michael would still be 2nd. Same place, different math.
#3 One Ball Two Strikes 65.5 pts
Roto flatters Garth more than any other team. He jumps one spot over Nick-fil-A here because this format rewards the balanced counting-stat roster he built: 10 in R, 9 in SB, 9 in SV, 8.5 in HR. The ratio cats hold him back (5 in ERA, 5 in WHIP, 2 in K). In a league that doesn't exist, he is a contender.
#4 Nick-fil-A 62.5 pts
Drops one spot vs H2H because roto exposes what H2H doesn't. Perfect 10 in SV and WHIP. But 1.5 in RBI and 3.5 in R are the kind of counting-stat holes that get weekly matchups but lose 25-week accumulations. Mario's team wins close H2H games. It would lose a long roto race to the power hitters.
#5 The Ragans Administration 61 pts
Middle of the roto table, middle of the actual table. 8s in OBP and QS, 7s in R and WHIP, not much higher anywhere. TylerV has a good rotation and a decent lineup and nothing that screams category leader. If you are looking for the 'most typical' team in either format, this is it.
#6 Busch Latte 58.5 pts
9 in K. 9 in ERA. That is Shohei Ohtani and whoever else is still throwing. Everywhere the injury list reaches: 3 in HR, 2.5 in OBP, 4 in RBI. If Brown, Strider, and Miller ever come off IL this number jumps. Rose is posting #6 roto points with a phantom rotation.
#7 Allahu Alvarez 58 pts
League leader in OBP (.359, a clean 10 points). Also: 1 point in ERA, 2 in WHIP. The lineup is real. The pitching staff is a gas station parking lot. TylerR is exactly the kind of roster where you want to trade bats for arms and you never actually do it.
#8 Good Vibes Only 36.5 pts
The cliff. 22 points behind #7. 1 point in QS, 1 in WHIP, 2 in SB, 2 in ERA. There is not a single category where Michael is competitive. Mookie Betts and Brent Rooker on the IL list all month sure helped. Good Vibes would finish last in any scoring format except the one where losing is the point.
#9 Ete Crow 36 pts
10 points in SB (27 stolen bases, best in the league by 6). 8 in K. And then the roster falls off a building: 1.5 in R, 1.5 in RBI, 1.5 in SV, 1 in OBP. Elly De La Cruz is carrying this roster by himself. The 2025 champion is bad at both the real format and the fake one.
#10 Rain City Bombers 27 pts
27 roto points. In ten categories. Dead last in R, HR, and K with 1-point finishes. The pitching ratios are actually fine (6 ERA, 3 WHIP) because Skenes and deGrom are pitching like aces. The problem is everything else. Taylor is losing in H2H, losing in roto, and presumably losing at cribbage.
Teams
Busch Latte Allahu Alvarez Ete Crow The Ragans Administration Keanu Reeves Good Vibes Only Rain City Bombers The Buckner Boots Ray Donovan One Ball Two Strikes